Learning to be comfortable being uncomfortable
Worry and anxiety is something we've all had to deal with in our lives. Most of it comes from living in fear of some future outcome and it's hard not to worry when there's so much uncertainty in the world.
Whether it's a macro event like how life will be like in a COVID endemic or that next big presentation we want to do well in, anxiety is simply experiencing failure or disappointment in advance. We all know worrying about something isn’t going to make it go away. It simply prolongs the unpleasant experience.
One way to frame this is to understand that anxiety and worry is never in service of someone else; it’s in service of our own need for the status quo and reassurance. And reassurance is futile because we can never have enough of it.
Reassurance makes us feel for a short moment that bad outcomes won’t happen until we get new information that it might. And then we'll need more of it again.
Most of the time, things aren’t really as bad as they are in our minds. And when we look back at all the times we’ve been anxious, things usually work out in the end.
We suffer more in imagination than in reality
“He who suffers before it is necessary suffers more than necessary.”
The "pre-event" suffering of anxiety and worry is just extra suffering. And most of this comes from avoidance - we want to avoid any perceived bad outcome(s) that may or may not happen.
A great metaphor for this is tip-toeing into a cold shower or swimming pool. It’s avoidance, but once you’re in, it’s no longer suffering, it’s just cold. Your body saying it's cold is different from your mind saying it's cold.
But at the same time, your body adjusts to the discomfort eventually. Stand long enough in a cold shower and you stop feeling cold. Swim a few laps in the pool and you are no longer shivering.
Get comfortable being uncomfortable
A great ritual to prime your mind is to take cold morning showers. Other than the health benefits of boosting immunity, it trains your mind to acknowledge and overcome the unnecessary suffering before an “event”. Do it often enough and your body gets comfortable being uncomfortable.
The act of stepping under cold water without hesitating is a daily reminder on how to manage worry and anxiety; Look at it, deal with it and accept it. But don't mentally suffer over it.
“Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.”
